transition

friends..this is a time when my mind is riddled with varied questions-about my future, my dreams,my aspirations,my hopes,my career etc etc.....waiting at that juncture in life where i would be undergoing yet another transition..a metamorphosis like the one which young tadpoles undergo which transforms them into full grown adults..and just like those young tadpoles,even i experience alternate waves of confusion,excitement,fear,delight-only thing is i am able is express it out but those poor reptiles cannot..
how would it feel to be left -all of a sudden- to face the world alone???....what would it be like to be away from home..away from the cocooned comforts bestowed upon me by my parents??..what will my life at mumbai-the city of dreams-be like?? ..are some of the unanswered questions which have been haunting me since a few days..and which i try to brush off by relegating them to the back of my mind but promising myself to think about them at some later date(a typical procrastinator at that!!)..very much like scarlett o' hara-the protagonist of the all time classic Gone with the wind(which happens to my favourite novel too)...well for a girl like me who has always been a darling in her family ,i guess it is going to be difficult...
Always getting excused by papa for those "trivial" mistakes ..the molly-coddling ,being coaxed and cajoled by mummy to have some more of the lip-smacking sabzi....being offered the best chicken piece by didi..are the memories which i am undoubtedly going to cherish for the rest of my life...these happen to be some of the many apparently unfair privileges which the youngest child in a family usually enjoys..i would define it as a quirk of the ovarian lottery...whatever the case may be ..i have always relished the undue advantage of being the younger one of 2 siblings...
I know only too well that right now-just as i am blogging-my papa and mummy might also be brooding about the sudden emptiness in the offing...worrying and wondering whether i would be able to take care of myself.......as for me,life suddenly seems very short for the people and things i dote on.....
On the other hand there lies the excitement of a fun-filled college life ahead again...friends,chitchat,birthday bumps,movies together,freaking out..only a fortunate few get the chance to live it out once again...guess i am one of them...the delight of pursuing something which i have always been interested in-the development of the world,making it a better place to live in-serves as a morale-booster too....yet..i hope everyone would agree that 24 years is a long time and the affinity happens to be very strong at such a point of time..no matter what.
often i find myself holding back the tears that well up in my eyes when i realize that these might be the last of those carefree days with my family...would miss the invitingly saying branches of the trees in the summer breeze and everything else about bhubaneswar-the place where i have grown up....uummm..can't write anymore coz i dont want tears streaming down my face and my parents watching me crying ..i know they would break down too...also i happen to be a strong believer in the cliche "whatever happens happens for good" ...so be it!!...but this cliche indeed is a very important one in my life-about which i am going to elucidate u soon....but for now...time is running out and i want to savour each moment with ma and pa....